Advice Category Archives

The Advice: The ‘Something’ Relationship & Why It’s Bullshit.

‘ You’re not together but you’re not ‘nothing.’ Because you’re not nothing, you’re something.‘-B.Carmichael

I know at least a handful of people, including myself, that have found themselves in a something relationship. What do I mean by that? I mean the ambiguous, often confusing space between being friends and being in a committed relationship. In this day and age, it becomes more and more difficult to navigate through the getting to know you stage, and reach destination relationship. This occurs for a variety of reasons. Perhaps one or both parties have past relationship baggage they have not been able to drop. Or maybe, both parties are uncomfortable articulating their feelings, getting too caught up, and risking getting hurt. Maybe it’s simple: it’s easier to get all the perks of being in a relationship without actually being committed.

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The Advice: Tunnel Vision: Moving On From the Wrong One

Now that I know the truth, what am I supposed to do?
Changing up and breaking all my rules ever since we met
I’m so gone, I’m so gone, I’m so gone
Just like a movie shoot, I’m zooming in on you
Everything is extra, and the background just fades into the set
As we ride off into the sun

It might seem like I’m catching something. That’s because it’s true
I can’t deny it, and I won’t try it but I think that you know
I look around and everything I see is beautiful ’cause all I see is you
And I can’t deny it and I stand by it, and I won’t hide it anymore

Sometimes you fall in love with the wrong one. It starts out with a spark, a feeling in the air, a first look. Something tells you that this is different. THEY are different, and something is about to happen. It starts off amazing. You are borderline obsessed with this person, you’ve already told all your friends about it, they are all you can think about it. You never thought you could be this into anyone, you’re so happy you could cry. You want to shout to the rooftops, ‘IT’S REAL YA’LL!’ Post mad pics on Instagram on Facebook of you and the boo, because everyone needs to know that you are TAKEN! That’s right! Nothing can bring you down from this cloud you’re floating on.

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The Advice: Trust Issues: Not Just a Drake Song

I’m a runner. I’ve been running since middle school, various distances. I remember my Pops timing my mile run on gravel tracks behind my middle school every weekend. I remember 3- mile runs after school, weaving in and out of neighborhoods near my house. The familiarity of the paths, the sound of my Pops yelling at me to go faster, the air filling my lungs, and the fleeting thought that I won’t finish. But I always did.

Recently I started running again. When I’m out of shape, the same issues resurface. Damn how long has it been? I don’t know if I can run 3 miles today. Do I have my inhaler? I’m tired.

All of these thoughts, as if my legs won’t carry to the end like they always have. All of these doubts as if I don’t trust my body. As if I don’t trust myself.

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The Advice: ‘The New Single:’ You Never Thought It Could be You….Again.

Apparently ‘tis the season for breakups. Recently, several of my friends/associates having ending things with their significant others for various reasons. I’m talking chunky relationships, 3-5 years, out the window. It brought about some interesting conversations about starting over and being single again. Over the past few months, I have reconnected with an old friend from college, and she was telling me about her breakup. Essentially, her now ex-boyfriend told her that he didn’t see himself marrying her. Talk about harsh. In case guys don’t know, if a girl wifes you up, she’s thinking long term. Marriage and kids, house with a picket fence, matching sweatsuits, all that. To invest more than a year into someone, is real. The majority of us want to be in relationships for the long term, we don’t start something new because we think it will end.

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