“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” ― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
I’ve been thinking a lot about fear. Even the bravest of souls are afraid of something, whether it’s spiders, heights, or…falling in love. It’s crazy how much fear limits us, and stops us from getting to where we are meant to be. So, I’ve been working really hard to be brave in all aspects of my life. I probably have mentioned that I have an absurd job working with the mentally ill in the city. That alone has caused me to invest in big girl pants, and approach every workday with unwavering ferocity. I am in the process of training for the Spartan Race. Challenging myself physically every year is something I made a pact to do when I turned 25, starting with my first 10K last fall. This is no easy feat, considering that it’s been snowing every other day, and I love carbs. I also have been trying to be brave in my love life.
What do I mean by this? Well, as I’ve started dating again, I’ve been having lots of conversations about dating, meeting new potential, and how scary that can be. I mean, it’s a daunting task, meeting someone new. Getting to know all of their little quirks and idiosyncrasies. Figuring out if you’re compatible in and out of the bedroom. Introducing them to your friends, and hoping for your friends’ approval. Having conversations on the phone (maybe that’s just me, I think I have a weird phone voice. But I digress). Being vocal about what exactly you want, where this is going…being vocal about your feelings. Shit is terrifying. I never thought that I would get back to this place, where I actually am excited about meeting someone new. Someone to look forward to spending time with. I also have gotten to a new place, where I am more comfortable expressing my wants and needs. I think that is what I’m most proud of at this very moment. I decided to blog about it, because I want this for all my fellow singles, and I also am demanding ya’ll to get here with me!