Lately, I’ve been realizing something about us girls. I have realized that we inadvertently sabotage each other and our potential relationships by giving bad advice. What do I mean….let me explain. It’s funny that the people in your life that are supposed to support you, are the same ones that will criticize you for decisions that you have make in your life. As girls, we oftentimes make the mistake of telling our girlfriends a little too much about our new mancandy. Of course, you know, you’re excited. He seems to have it together, he’s cute, things are progressing well… until they’re not.
Until you start saying little things about the boo that may cause your friends to take a disliking to him. Example: you about to go out with the homies. You roll up to the bar in huff, and ya girls are all ‘what’s wrong boo?’ And you proceed to rip your new boo a new asshole, for most likely a miniscule argument that you will inevitably forgive and forget about it in the morning. In the meantime you’re shitting on him, knocking back shots, and screaming ‘i’m single!’ knowing damn well you going to his house after the bar lets out. Shame on you. Just because you forget in the morning, doesn’t mean your friends will. In fact, the more you say some slick shit about your new boo, the more they will dislike him. When it comes time to get wifed up, guess who is not going to be in the audience cheering and clapping? The homies.
Don’t get me wrong. Anything your homegirls say, is with good intent (for the most part). They want to make sure this dude is the right fit for you. But just because your guy isn’t perfect, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be with him. Sometimes as girls, we see our homies booed up, and we feel like, it’s our time as well to find someone. Slow ya roll, babygirl. Just because Mary, Jane, and Beth found love, doesn’t mean you’re ready too. Just because their boos have a few flaws doesn’t mean you should immediately tell them to dump his lame ass. Because if we’re honest with ourselves, sometimes we say things like that, because we are scared of what will happen when everyone pairs off, and you’re left behind. This isn’t fair, or right, and it’s selfish. Who told you that you’re ready for a relationship? Our lives are not meant to constantly be parallel. Just because everyone appears to be settling down, doesn’t mean you’re ready to. As a single person, we’re just going off of what we see as ‘ideal’ relationships. We don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about. Just because you are committed to someone, doesn’t mean it’s perfect all the time. You will laugh, you will cry, you will fight, you will make up. It’s a different kind of place you’re in, and you can’t just jump in unprepared. Have you ever considered that you’re single because you’re not fully ready to commit, and THAT is why love hasn’t happened to you yet? As much as you THINK you are, you probably aren’t. You most likely have things to work on, maybe some self-reflecting hmmmmmmmm? Do you even know what it means to commit to another? Or do you just have an idea of what the word means?Think about that.
Don’t be so quick to tell homegirl she needs to dump that fool. You have no idea what their dynamic is like, or how they communicate. Just because she’s huffing and puffing right now, doesn’t mean it’s time to call it quits. It’s called ‘working through things’ and she may need to do just that, if she feels ol’ boy is worth it. You too, will be doing the same thing when you fall in love. Food for thought.
Be well.
