Dating Tag Archives

The Advice: Dating ….Just to Date (and why that sh!t is whack).

“Just because he’s good company doesn’t mean I fancy him, but then maybe fancying someone isn’t what it’s all about? Maybe I’ve been wrong in waiting for that sweep you off your feet feeling, the feeling I had with [him]. And, let’s face it, it didn’t exactly work with [him], so maybe I’ve been looking for the wrong thing.” – Mr. Maybe by Jane Green

Sometimes, I wonder if we’re dating just to ….date. By me, I mean women in particular. Think about it. There are a lot of females that I know, who are just dating, or in relationships…just because. I have one homegirl who has been dating a guy for more than year. But she seems….indifferent. Her friends hate him. He hates her friends. The sex isn’t very…..good. So what exactly is the point? To have someone just to have someone? To partner with someone, and spend all of this time and money…into someone you don’t even feel 100% into? Sounds weak to me.

But I’m starting to get why though. Recent events in the lives of women I care about the most, have prompted me to write this post. The hardest and most rewarding part about being single is deciding that you’ve had enough of it, and not settling for bullshit. That’s the rewarding part. The hardest part, is moving past the frustration.



Out with the Old, In with the New:The 2014 Edition

Shit is late…..but still relevant.

Sorry guys, I’ve been ghost for a little bit. But ya’ll know how the holidays be, stressful and financially draining. I will say that this has been the most enjoyable winter holiday in a long time, and I wrote this post around Christmas time.

‘I’m sitting in the car, driving back from Christmas dinner. John Legend’s ‘All of Me’ is playing, and it seemed liked the perfect time to write my final post for 2013.

It has been a hell of year to say the least. I’m sure it’s been crazy for you guys as well, and I am definitely not the same person I was when this year started. I would say that I am a much better person than I was in many ways. I have learned a lot about people, the value of life and love. I’ve learned valuable lessons in the face of pain and sadness. I’ve learned that I’m stronger emotionally than I ever could have imagined.


The Advice: Be Better, Not Bitter.

Girls are a little crazy. Now before you get offended, remember two things. 1) I am a girl. 2) At some point in time, you as a female have had irrational, unreasonable thoughts and expectations of the opposite sex, myself included. Lately, I’ve been taking time to reflect, and I’ve come up with a few gems.

Stop trying to claim something that never belonged to you in the first place. You are hurting yourself, you are better than that. What do I mean by that? Let’s think. Once a girl decides she actually likes a boy, in some small, tiny irrational part of you that has laid claim over them. The more time you spend with him, the bigger that piece grows. It doesn’t matter that he isn’t actually yours. You have dedicated countless hours of consistent texting. You have already planned future dates with your boo, imagined spending the next few holidays together. You have invested months of months of ‘talking’ so he now belongs to you. In your mind….because that makes sense.

Stop it crazy! Stop it right now.

The Advice: The ‘Something’ Relationship & Why It’s Bullshit.

‘ You’re not together but you’re not ‘nothing.’ Because you’re not nothing, you’re something.‘-B.Carmichael

I know at least a handful of people, including myself, that have found themselves in a something relationship. What do I mean by that? I mean the ambiguous, often confusing space between being friends and being in a committed relationship. In this day and age, it becomes more and more difficult to navigate through the getting to know you stage, and reach destination relationship. This occurs for a variety of reasons. Perhaps one or both parties have past relationship baggage they have not been able to drop. Or maybe, both parties are uncomfortable articulating their feelings, getting too caught up, and risking getting hurt. Maybe it’s simple: it’s easier to get all the perks of being in a relationship without actually being committed.