“The Love Experience” is an editorial project that features dynamic couples in love. The series, shot by fashion photographer Bryce Lennon, celebrates diversity through the perspective of underrepresented relationships.”

A decades worth of friendship and love: Tavia + James

Hello everyone! We would like to introduce the final couple of the Love Experience Cycle 2, Tavia and James. This relationship has been a long time in the making, eleven years to be exact! Find out how it all went down below:

Where and how did you two meet?

James: In September of 2009, I secured a job working at the Watoto After School Care (Which was my second after school job coming out of college). When I interviewed and secured the job, my friend (Who gave me the lead) let me know what I was working in the classroom with a cute one. When I got in the class and met Tavia, I got it! She’s the cute one! For the entire year, we built a coworker relationship, and really got to know each other. It was pleasant.

Tavia: It was 2009, and I recently graduated from Temple University. This was my first out in the world job position. He likes to tell the story about all the ways we “cohabitated,” and I’m going to let him do it today.

James: That following fall, Tavia become my roommate. She was in a pinch, I had a room, and offered her a place to live. So, we became roommates, which was fun. At the same time, I wanted to progress in life, and go to grad school. I told her one night that I wanted to go check out Saint Joseph’s University, and she wanted to come. I remember that she wanted to attend the University of Florida for grad school, and changed her mind to Saint Joseph’s University. When we went to the info session, this random lady asked if we were married. People asked us that all the time, even before we were officially together. She eventually moved out for grad school, which was the first summer she kissed me (I tried to kiss her, and she accepted). As time continued, we became closer friends and spent a lot of time together. Even though we weren’t living together, we were constantly in each other’s lives. I never had to question whether or not she was going away.

When did you two realize you loved each other?

James: In the summer of 2013, we graduated from grad school. Since we spent so much time together, Tavia thought it was a beautiful time to tell me she loved me. It was out of character for her, and it shocked me. Disclaimer: I asked her if she loved me, and she said yes. I began having strong feelings for her, which is why I asked.

James, at what point did you realize you wanted to marry Tavia?

James: In Thailand, I called her on one drunken night. I was laying on a bed (My friends and I got into some disagreement), and she picked up the phone. I remember the smile on her face and said out loud, “I can’t wait for you to be the mother of my children.” She giggled, smiled, and I was like, “Wow, she’s really here for this.” Moving forward, I kept telling my friends that I was going to marry her, even when we weren’t together. As time went on, I wanted to see how she felt about us living together.

Tavia: We were practically living together already! That was the fall of 2015.

Tavia, what made you accept the proposal?

Tavia: James has always been in my corner 110%, even way back in 2009 when nothing was going on between us. He’s supportive, encouraging, and has always been there. When he mentioned out loud that he wanted me to be the mother to his kids, I never objected. He always tells me that I laugh or giggle him off, but that’s just me accepting him. I think we bond on a different level, that goes beyond our old relationships. The fact that people were asking us if we were together even when we weren’t was crazy. I’ve always accepted him for who he is as a person.

How has your relationship grown through the pandemic?

James: I think we improved. Last year, Tavia and I purchased our first king sized bed. Studies show that women make majority of the decisions in family households. The fact that she trusted me to find a bed that’s comfortable for both of us, says a lot about our relationship. Also, we’re both teachers, and the whole virtual learning experience has been a challenge in itself. We were there for each other though. Those little things brought us closer together.

Tavia: It helped us solidify our future plans. We did a lot of home improvements, and never killed each other! That was always the goal. In addition, all of our neighbors are teachers, and the pandemic brought us closer together with them as well.

For anyone struggling in the dating world, what advice would you give them in regards to sustaining a healthy and loving relationship?

Tavia: Find a friend first rather than trying to find a significant other. Working through our friendship together really helped us build a foundation for what we have now.

James: Communication, in a sense of sharing how you feel without self sabotaging yourself or catastrophizing things. It’s key. Plus, it’s okay to be attracted to the people you care about. That goes for both males and females. There is an old stigma in society forbidding the attraction between friends. So much so that you can’t even give a compliment. Imagine if I never complimented Tavia at work, she never would’ve known my level of attraction. She might have been conscious of it, but never aware. If you’re struggling to find someone to spend your time with, be careful on how you measure it. If you base everything on physical appearance, looks change. By identifying that, you could possibly find love in your friend circle. That person may be present now.

Where can we reach you?

Instagram: @mrbrooks_iv and @via0701